PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL LEADERSHIP
Whether you are the president of a company or the janitor, the moment you step from independence into interdependence in any capacity, you step into a leadership role. You are in a position of influencing other people.
Six paradigms of human interaction
· Win/win – It means that agreements or solution are mutually beneficial. It sees life as a cooperative arena, not competition.
· Win/lose – "If I win, you lose." Values don’t lie inside them, it lies outside. It’s in comparison with somebody. People are prone to use power, position.
· Lose/win – “I lose, you win." It has no standards – no demands, no expectation. People have less courage to express them and are quick to please.
· Lose/lose – It is the philosophy of highly dependent person without inner direction. He thinks, “If nobody ever wins, perhaps being a loser isn’t so bad.”
· Win – A person with win mentality thinks in terms of securing his own ends—and leaving others to secure theirs. What matters is that they get what they want.
· Win/win or no deal – If you can't reach an agreement that is mutually beneficial, there is no deal. In ‘No Deal’ you feel liberated because you don’t have to manipulate people.
FIVE DIMENSIONS OF WIN/WIN
Win/win is habit of interpersonal relationship. It involves mutual learning, mutual benefits.
Effective interpersonal leadership requires vision, the proactive initiative, guidance, wisdom and power from principle centered personal relationship.
The following diagram shows five Interdependent dimensions of life.
CHARACTER
It is the foundation of win/win. The three character trait essential for win/win
INTEGRITY: It is the value we place on ourselves. As we identify our values and maintain integrity, we develop self-awareness and keeping meaningful promises and commitments, which develops trust and Win/Win becomes an effective technique.
MATURITY: Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. High courage and consideration are both essential to Win/Win. It is the balance that is the mark of real maturity.
ABUNDANCE MENTALITY: It the belief that there's plenty out there for everyone. Most people operate with the Scarcity Mentality -- meaning they act as though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don't). People with the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing recognition or credit and find it difficult to be genuinely happy about other people's successes. Whereas abundance mentality is success in effective interaction that brings mutually beneficial results to everyone involved.
RELATIONSHIPS
A relationship where there is trust and both parties are committed to win/win is the ideal springboard for synergy.
For you to gain trust of a person, build their trust through genuine courtesy, respect. You should listen more, you listen in greater depth. You keep on doing all this until the other person realizes that you want real win for both.
An agreement means very little without character and relationship to sustain it in spirit.
AGREEMENTS
Win/Win agreements create an effective way to clarify and manage expectations between people involved. Elements of the agreement - desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability and consequences helps to create standards against which performance can be measured. The Win/Win agreement focuses on results; not on methods which creates greater synergy. It defines and directs the interdependent interaction for which it was created.
SYSTEMS
Win/Win can only survive in the organization when the system supports it. If you want to achieve goals, then you should align the reward systems with these goals.
So often the problem is in the system, not in people. People can transform unnecessarily competitive situations to cooperative ones and powerfully impact their effectiveness.
Win/Win puts responsibility on people for accomplishing specified results within clear guidelines and available resources. It creates an environment which supports and reinforces the win/Win agreements.
PROCESSES
There’s no way to achieve Win/Win ends with win/Lose or Lose/Win means.
Steps for seeking Win/Win solutions:
1. See the problem from others point of view.
2. Identify the key issues and concerns involved
3. Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
4. Identify the possible new options to achieve those results.