“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”
There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Nine out of ten times, an argument ends with each of the contestant more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.
As wise old Benjamin Franklin used to say:
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.
Here are some suggestions on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
1. Welcome the disagreement.
2. Distrust your first instinctive impression.
3. Control your temper.
4. Listen first.
5. Look for areas of argument.
6. Be honest.
7. Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully.
8. Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest.
9. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.
PRINCIPLE 10: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
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